Thursday, March 15, 2007

Speaking of False Dichotomies...Condemn/Condone


Do ya'll remember about 10 years or so ago when Ellen Degeneres came out? (seems like a different world then, huh?) Well, I remember at the time being absolutely steamed by a comment that Jerry Falwell made, calling her "Ellen Degenerate". I seriously wanted to write her an apology and him a plea to SHUT UP. But I digress.

The point, and I do have one, is this - I recently found an article on the web which was written shortly after the Degeneres/Falwell thing. It asked this -"Would Jesus condemn or condone Ellen Degeneres?" Kudos, by the way, to the author. His answer was "neither - Jesus would LOVE her".

Why is it that we force ourselves into this categorical response? Are we for or against? In particular, as Christians, do we condemn or condone? Will we speak out against the evil or say nothing, which is just another way of saying it ain't evil at all...or so it is interpreted.

What I love about Jesus is that he was uber-clever. He always knew how to find the third way. I wish I were so creative. Since I'm not, I guess I'll default to the position of love. What can it hurt? Am I called to point out sin or love my neighbor? I think it is far easier to point out sin, to separate myself from really having to relate to anyone who is "misbehaving". I think I've done that a lot in my life.

When I look at the Gospels, I see Jesus relating to sinners who are transformed by his love and willingness to be a part of their lives where they live. It is the religious who are most often chastised for their sinfulness. What would happen if we made it our mission to truly love and left the condemning and condoning out of the equation? Do you think our love would draw anyone toward God, toward wholeness, toward freedom?

If we are going to do God's will here on earth as it is in heaven, we'd better start loving with reckless abandon. When is the last time you expressed love to someone whose behavior you would never condone?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

the goon squad




It's amazing to me how fast I can turn into a vengeful angel, full of wrath and fury.

I'm at work yesterday, having a generally crummy time and feeling 53 steps behind, when I get a call. It's a local business owner, an important advertiser for the little skiff of a newspaper that I helm. I won't go into details, but she wrongly accused me of all sorts of foul deeds, even threatening legal action at one point. I got in serious trouble with both my bosses and had to write a letter apologizing for the alleged infraction. It was one of those incidents that make me question my choice of profession, that make me want to go open a Gyro stand somewhere on the coast of California.

Well, that night, as I watched "The Prestige" with my First Mate, son and a roomful of our collegians, my boss called. The business owner had called him and apologized for the whole thing, explaining that she'd misunderstood and didn't have all the information and how she felt terrible for loosing her temper. In other words, I was put through the wringer, but that's OK because she said she was sorry.

It wasn't really OK, though. I wanted vengeance. It was an immediate, palpable reaction, like craving sushi. I needed her to feel the same thing she made me feel. I wanted her to go home with a heart as heavy as mine.

Man. What is that? I've been following Christ for 17 years now. I know all "the stuff." I know the verses. I've heard countless sermons, read the books, seen the movies. But at the slightest provocation, I'm right back in that ugly place. I'm Smeagol letting himself get pushed around by Gollum, his alter ego.

This post isn't going to provide any answers. It certainly won't offer any profound new observations.

One thing I noticed this time, though, was this need to make things better. We can't really make things better, can we? In the past, I've heard this notion that when we become Christians, we have to pay restitution, somehow, to all those people we've ever hurt. I've made a few of those calls, to people from my past who I felt deserved an apology.

That's a nice sentiment, but who does it really help? Isn't it more for my own sake? When the Little Master does something wrong, he says "I'm sorry" over and over again. But that doesn't really fix anything. It doesn't repair the leather chair that he's skewered like a baked potato.

No, when things like that happen, the Crew Chief and I have to forgive him, without expectation of repair of any sort or degree. We forgive him because we love him.

Grace is huge. It's huge and uncompromising. That's ironic, isn't it. The foundation of Christ's love for us is unfathomable and impossible. We try to dance around it. We want the fine print. We try to add parenthetical remarks or explanatory clauses or supplementary amendments. But none of it sticks.

Grace is Andre the Giant. "I am the goon squad" Grace says to me when I demand payment for wrongs done. And then he bops me on the head.

Friday, March 9, 2007

lessons learned



The other night, a friend shared about a tough personal situation that happened several years ago, and how they've never been able to get past it.

This person said something that was really interesting to me. To paraphrase, it went something like this: "God is trying to teach me something and I won't get better until I learn this lesson."

I did something remarkable that night. I held my tongue. Well, not literally, since that would be uncouth. I was struck by the statement, but managed to refrain from commenting on it. That's what almost nine years of blissful partnership with a trained counselor has taught me: reflective listening, or at least keeping my mouth shut.

But what are blogs for if not spilling out the assorted contents of our brains, like cleaning out an overstuffed man-purse.

Does God really want to teach us a lesson? That's interesting. God is a school marm, pacing between our desks, ruler in hand and holding us back for yet another year if we can't conjugate the word "scamper." That makes sense. When Jesus saved the woman from being stoned, he said, "There, now let that be a lesson to ya'."

No. I don't think so. That doesn’t work for me.

I once saw some experts on the Holocaust say that there are no lessons to be taken from the gas chambers of Fascist Europe, because to draw lessons would go some way towards justifying what happened. It's a terrible thing, a horrible, terrible thing. Not even tragic, because that somehow gives it too much grace. It was just murder.

Isn't it possible that the terrible things that happen to us are just terrible? Why do we insist on blaming God, like he causes divorce or drug abuse or cancer or all the other myriad of ghastly things that stalk our existence?

Ok, time to make a timely pop music reference. I've really been into Pigeon John lately. He has this song called "It's the End of the World As We Know It." (Yes, he copped the line from REM.) In it, the singer rages against God about all the terrible stuff that goes on, begging for answers. What he gets in return is empathy, tears, a broken heart, and, ultimately, some element of peace.

So maybe God gave us free will, to love, hate, do the right thing and go terribly wrong. What he offers us is understanding, connection, love.

That rings true for me.

*The art is a painting entitled Ashes by Edvard Munch. See more of his work at http://www.edvard-munch.com/gallery/index.htm

Sacred/Secular and Other False Dichotomies

Maybe you've seen this video or the others in the series. These parodies of the Mac/PC commercials pit a stereotypical conservative Evangelical-ish Christian in suit and tie against a jeans/t-shirt/hoodie clad "Christ-follower". Obviously one is cool and one isn't. Now, I am sensitive to insulting people who aren't "cool" - and the video series does bug me a bit in that regard. However, the point I want to cull from this video is important - at least in my opinion.



Here's the deal. I think it is our tendency to create false dichotomies. We make two piles when there could be many. We limit ourselves to two choices, when there may be...oh...at least three.

But what troubles me is when we pull this tendency into the arena of faith and religion - specifically, the sacred/secular dichotomy. Who draws the lines? Do we have to draw lines? I have a friend, Jewish by birth and culture, who had a spiritual awakening sitting in his car listening to U2 in his high school's parking lot. My husband found God on a cliff overlooking the Pacific. My life as a Christ-follower has been shaped by Pulp Fiction and Crash - two movies that might not pass muster in many a "sacred throng".

I am sure that MY life has been most influenced by the Bible and the discourse I've been a part of in church communities and relationships with other Christians. But what I don't buy into this idea that God is restricted to "sacred" media. I can't say "everything is sacred" - I have a hard time finding anything uplifting in pornography for example. But I'm leaning hard toward beauty - whether art, music, or my sons large yet perfectly proportioned four year old hands - as an echo of divine wonderment. Wouldn't our lives be richer if we looked for Truth and Love in every nook and cranny of existence?

THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING I'M TALKING ABOUT! http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/T/TV_AMERICAN_IDOL_SLIGH?SITE=IAIOP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Points* to be Made

Each week I set aside a certain amount of time on a specific day to spend time with people who hold similar beliefs. We all show up to face reality, check our personal progress and listen to the leader of our group as she guides and encourages us.

I'm sure you've guessed by now that I'm talking about my weekly Weight Watchers meetings. Recently I decided that the weekly humiliation of weighing in was not enough and started a blog that chronicles my weight loss journey. I'd just read that blogging was a popular - and successful - tool in the weight loss arena. The reason is simple: you become honest about what you go through each day and find support in those who share your experience.

Being honest on my weight loss blog is pretty black and white. My success or failure is measured in something called Points.(TM) Each person is allotted a certain number of points each day to spend on whatever food seems appealing. I simply tell the world what I ate and how many points I spent on it. I think about this during the day and the idea of confessing to the four Carmel Delites makes the craving a bit weaker.

Therefore I propose we all start our spiritual points-tracking. We can all begin with 25 points in the morning. Points could be spent as follows:
  • Traded 9 minutes (via snooze button) for morning prayer: -3 points
  • Uncharitable thoughts toward other drivers on commute: -4 points
  • Ran past co-worker for the last Asiago Cheese Bagel: -2 points
Of course you can also earn extra points:
  • 20 minutes of bible study and prayer: +1 point
  • Song of praise in response to "one more project" at 4:50pm: +3 points
I trust by now that you've realized this points plot is tongue-in-cheek, but I think there's something we can learn from this group of people. They lay their failures out on the line and find help from people who've been there. They celebrate successes. They go out of their way to be accountable within their weakness.

Let's come to the scale and weigh in with each other.

*WEIGHT WATCHERS and POINTS are registered trademarks of Weight Watchers International, Inc.

Unpacking our mission statement



Real people learning to follow Jesus together. This mission statement for our reverb community is one I came up with a few months ago. It may undergo some revision as we work out our identity, but at this point I like it.

Real People - I don't like buzz words so I opted not to use "authentic" but that's what I'm shootin' for. (In addition, one of my English professors used to say don't use the 50 cent words when a 10 cent word will do - I liked that man) So, real. I spent too many years of my life looking shiny. I lived in a family that looked shiny. And when I got old enough to figure out that all was not what it seemed - something I'm sure I knew in a child's way - I knew that I needed to get real. I mean really. Why play the game.

Albert Ellis talked about the tyranny of the shoulds and oughts. I lived with that for a long time. I still battle it. But being real is essential. And the Church should be the place where we are most real, shouldn't it? I mean, come on - the whole message of forgiveness is that we're off the hook. None of us is perfect. But grace and love erase the need for shame. Shame says, if you know who I really am, you'll reject me. Well, listen here - God sees, God knows, God loves. Being real in community says I see you, I know you , I love you. That is when the grace and love of God becomes a reality.

Learning - Life is not something that is stagnant. In spite of the popular book of the late 1980's - we did not learn everything we needed to know in kindergarten. Learning requires humility. Learning says "I don't have it all figured out". Learning implies a journey. Learning implies change. Learning implies saying I'm wrong, I made a mistake, I'm sorry, I wish I had known that before. Learning is being open. It is discovery.

I reject the notion that we can represent faith in propositional statements. Concise or lengthy summative conclusions about what we believe. For too long, learning to be a Christian has relied too heavily on believing certain statements. People have been counted in or out based on their mental assent to doctrine. Something doesn't jive with that for me. I can say that Ray is my husband - very hairy though he be. But saying he's my husband means nothing, really. I have to learn to live that out.

To Follow Jesus - This is about surrender. It is about a voice that leads, guides, informs our lives as "Christians". I do think everyone follows something - pleasure, wealth, Benjamin Franklin, Oprah. Whose voice is shaping your life? As a Christian, I'm looking to Jesus. That is our agreed upon example and pace setter at reverb. We want to learn how to love like him, how to live like him, how to think like him, how to forgive like him - how to be like him.

Together - Community keeps us in check. Community forces our ideals to be reality. I guess it sort of circles back on being real. I'm dying for community. I'm dying for a group of people who want to get honest and work out what it means to love God and love others. Church is a funny word. We make it a place when it's really about people - a group of people, a community of real people learning to follow Jesus - together.

*The art is a painting entitled Happiness 2015 the Goal of the Millenium by Fabián Mowszowicz. See more of his work at http://www.art-mine.com/ArtistPage.aspx?ID=CT9CF5673E_FD96_4961_BE0C_BC7D17BBA47D

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

a brother of another mother


Ok, this is so cool.

There's this Anglican reverend who helps merchant marine sailors in the port of Singapore. It's not just the "spiritual" stuff, either. He brings them cash cards and cell phones and food and posts from their home ports. He basically tries to make their lives a little easier for the few days that they're in Singapore, short of bringing them drugs, booze or women. He actually goes out to the boats to do his work, which is almost unheard of these days. And, he serves sailors of all faiths, without discrimination or preference.

I read about this ministry in a Wall Street Journal article a few weeks ago. I showed it to my Crew Chief and said, "this guy's been emergent for decades without even knowing it."

Check it out:

www.flyingangel.org.sg/floaMTSRoleInMaritimeCommunity.htm

Empty, full...does it really matter?


So She-Who-Is-Loved and I were slouching on the couch catching some assorted tube time together when that new docutainment piece by Cameron what's-his-name came on about finding the tomb of Jesus and His family.

I got all antsy about watching it. It's the same feeling I had about Fahrenheit 911, which I never saw. It's a combination of cynicism about so-called documentaries and a strong desire to protect my assumptions about the world, hunkering down like a wide-eyed prairie dog at a dog party, a big dog party.

But what does it really matter? An empty tomb, a full tomb.

I'm not sure it makes a difference if there is a tomb with the bona fide body of Christ and company.

I don't want to get into a critical analysis of Terminator Boy's film, because I don't think it matters. Truth is, I took the Little Master to bed about a half-hour into the show. She-Who-Is-Loved and I had this discussion, right there on our poor, dilapidated sofa. I hesitate to write about it. People might jump to conclusions, put words in my mouth, that sort of nonsense.

I come back to the question. As a follower of Jesus, my faith won't move one inch away from God if Cameron's conclusions are proved true. If anything, how cool would it be to have physical evidence of a living, breathing Jesus. It's the life of the man that matters, that drives us to act like fools, sacrifice for others, forgive our enemies and love strangers. It's the walking, talking, fishing, breaking bread, setting down stones, getting his feet washed and drinking wine Jesus that I follow.

That's all that matters, I think.

Believing in the Right Way

"Here I picture the emerging community as a significant part of a wider religious movement which rejects both absolutism and relativism as idolatrous positions which hide their human origins in the modern myth of pure reason. Instead of following the Greek-influenced idea of orthodoxy as right belief,…the emerging community is helping us to rediscover the more Hebraic and mystical notion of the orthodox Christian as one who believes in the right way—that is, believing in a loving, sacrificial and Christlike manner. The reversal from 'right belief' to 'believing in the right way' is in no way a move to some binary opposite of the first (for the opposite of right belief is simply wrong belief); rather, it is a way of transcending the binary altogether. Thus orthodoxy is not longer (mis)understood as opposite of heresy but rather is understood as a term that signals a way of being in the world rather than a means of believing things about the world."

from "How (not) to speak of God" by Peter Rollins
found on the website - www.emergentnazarenes.blogspot.com

Will it make a difference?



Recently the Nazarene big-wigs (that is, our denominational leadership) proclaimed a new and improved mission statement. One for today's "over communicated world". Simple but not simplistic...did anyone feel the earth move?

Don't get me wrong. I like the direction this mission statement points us toward. In fact, I've been headed that direction for a long time. But will it shake down to make any difference in the trenches? I guess that's up to me. As a pastor, I'm going to have to unpack it and build meaning into it for my friends.

Anyway, it is quite a lovely banner, don't you think?