lessons learned

The other night, a friend shared about a tough personal situation that happened several years ago, and how they've never been able to get past it.

This person said something that was really interesting to me. To paraphrase, it went something like this: "God is trying to teach me something and I won't get better until I learn this lesson."

I did something remarkable that night. I held my tongue. Well, not literally, since that would be uncouth. I was struck by the statement, but managed to refrain from commenting on it. That's what almost nine years of blissful partnership with a trained counselor has taught me: reflective listening, or at least keeping my mouth shut.

But what are blogs for if not spilling out the assorted contents of our brains, like cleaning out an overstuffed man-purse.

Does God really want to teach us a lesson? That's interesting. God is a school marm, pacing between our desks, ruler in hand and holding us back for yet another year if we can't conjugate the word "scamper." That makes sense. When Jesus saved the woman from being stoned, he said, "There, now let that be a lesson to ya'."

No. I don't think so. That doesn’t work for me.

I once saw some experts on the Holocaust say that there are no lessons to be taken from the gas chambers of Fascist Europe, because to draw lessons would go some way towards justifying what happened. It's a terrible thing, a horrible, terrible thing. Not even tragic, because that somehow gives it too much grace. It was just murder.

Isn't it possible that the terrible things that happen to us are just terrible? Why do we insist on blaming God, like he causes divorce or drug abuse or cancer or all the other myriad of ghastly things that stalk our existence?

Ok, time to make a timely pop music reference. I've really been into Pigeon John lately. He has this song called "It's the End of the World As We Know It." (Yes, he copped the line from REM.) In it, the singer rages against God about all the terrible stuff that goes on, begging for answers. What he gets in return is empathy, tears, a broken heart, and, ultimately, some element of peace.

So maybe God gave us free will, to love, hate, do the right thing and go terribly wrong. What he offers us is understanding, connection, love.

That rings true for me.

*The art is a painting entitled Ashes by Edvard Munch. See more of his work at http://www.edvard-munch.com/gallery/index.htm